literature

The Ferryman

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ArthurTheBraveOne's avatar
Published:
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Literature Text

I am but a candlelight
Glistening in a lake of ink
A tiny burning lost desire
A memory of laugh and drink

I am but a child’s lone laugh
Lost upon the wind so quick
When night does fall and light must part
Like a lonely flame in savage wind

I am but a declaration
Of a love long lost to time
I am but the ferryman
For whom you save your final dime

I am but a bottled dream
Fleeting and fragile like life itself
Open up, release your breath
Enter a dream far worse than death

You may stand tall before the end
In candlelight, staying the hand
Of ferryman and night and god
Though the tides of time you may sway not.
Really satisfied with how this one turned out.
Started out with a random blurt of inspiration, and as a matter of experiment started paying precise attention to the intonation of the sentences. This ended up with me using a four-foot iambic variety (iambec tetrameter?) for the entireity of the poem, which I feel not only turned out very well, but force me into some interesting sentences and word choices which I liked much better, even on their own, than what I originally came up with. I guess the old adagio holds true (thanks mr. Rosewater): restrictions breed creativity.

Hope you all enjoy this too, please do drop a comment and share your thoughts on the piece! Whether you liked it or not, I'd be interested in hearing your opinion, interpretations, etc, etc.

Have a swell evening guys.
ATBO out.

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Feedback questions:
- Do you feel the poem was a coherent whole? Did it make sense to you? Was my intent in writing it clear?
- How do you feel about the imagery I used here?
- How do you feel the rhyme scheme and flow worked out, in regards the way the poem was structured? Any parts you feel the flow went awry?

Of course, anything else you can find that you feel I could do to improve the piece I'd love to hear as well! Thank you! :)
© 2014 - 2024 ArthurTheBraveOne
Comments10
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rakhades's avatar
Absolutely the sickest poem I've read I grew up hearing stories about the boatman ; if I may be so bold to say.